I have been
listening mainly to one song for the last two, three weeks. I listen to the radio in my car in Istanbul
and in Fethiye there is a CD that I have been listening to for the whole of
last year. However, in the last three
weeks regardless of which city or town I was in, there was only one song for
me. Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.”
This
happens to me sometimes. I seem to find comfort in the words, sounds or the
frequencies of one particular song that I keep playing over and over
again. I listened to various versions of
this song and Jeff Buckley’s is the one I keep listening to.
And I
cannot help but think and wonder why I did not go to the concerts that Leonard
Cohen gave in İstanbul in the last few years.
I knew about the concerts. I knew
his songs, but for some reason I had not listened to “Hallelujah” up until a
month ago. Then I heard three different
versions of this song one after the other by coincidence. “Hallelujah” changed Leonard Cohen for
me. That song made me feel what Cohen is
all about. Especially through Jeff Buckley’s voice.
I remember
that I had a similar but more intense experience about 8 years ago. I kept
listening to one song over and over for
two or three weeks right after my Dad passed away. I kept listening to the same song. Again over
and over. And I also painted. I painted
with the same set of tones of blue, listening to the same song, until I could
not anymore. Then first the colours, then my music changed.
There are
many ways to heal ourselves. There are many techniques. Sometimes all we need is the frequency of a
song washing our body and soul.
*
A friend of
mine posed a question a few days ago. His question was “Why do we change if we
ever do?” His follow up question was “Do we ever realize and admit that we are
wrong, and how often do we do that?”
With these simple questions in a group discussion I found myself looking
back. Surely I did change my life of forty
something years. Why did I change when I did? Not only where I live, what I do
for a living changed, but also what I believe in, my inner world also changed
quite dramatically.
What made
me change the most? The main reason was probably pain. The pain of the not so pleasant experiences
of my life. I changed because the way I
was did not work for me. I also changed because of my regrets of the pain that
I caused in other people’s lives. It is
not easy to accept that we could be the reason for the sadness and
disappointment in other people’s lives.
And what
made me change even more drastically was seeing people whom I have hurt - mostly
unknowingly, but who did not seem to have any resentment or anger for me. The people who let themselves be hurt by me
until I discovered what I am doing. They taught me the most.
I am
listening to “Hallelujah” again tonight. I realize that two days ago, as I was
listening to the same song from my laptop computer in my living room in
Arnavutköy in İstanbul, it was difficult to hear the music. The sound of the traffic at the Bosphorus,
the sounds of the boats, the sounds of the big city, the hum had made it
difficult to hear, even with my windows closed.
And I had thought that the sound system of my computer was not good
enough. I had thought the recording was probably
not good enough as well. Two nights
later in Fethiye, suddenly the same music from the same computer is almost too
loud. Hallelujah.
*
Living in two
cities simultaneously makes me continuously aware of differences. In the
weather, in sounds and colours, in relationships, in friendships, in what is
meaningful. The list goes on. So much is
different between Fethiye and İstanbul, and so much is different in my lives
there. I travel at least once a week;
sometimes I find myself in airplanes five or six times in one week. I am not exactly in the position of the
famous CEO who gave his most permanent address as 3D, his favourite and most
common spot in the plane. But routines
are almost non-existent in my life.
Something is always changing. But, when life is constantly changing,
what happens to me? Does this allow me
to change, does this make me change or resist change?
I found
some of the answers to those questions in NLP.
Not all, but surely some. Those of you who are familiar with NLP
Neuro-Linguistic Programming and meta models/meta programs will remember who
all of us have different sets of inherent inner rules or rather codes that we
seem to use as we steer our lives. Some of feel safer and happier when things
are continuously chancing and someone of would rather have the same dish at the
same restaurant at the same time of every week.
There is no right or wrong way of being.
And once we discover the thinking and belief system that we use to
operate, then we can start to use our mind to create new programs, to ways to
respond and act. Hopely to make our
lives happier and more satisfying.
I would
like to share about NLP in the coming weeks.
If used with proper caution and understanding, NLP can be very effective
in discovering the true positive power of our minds.
*
Finally I
will end by sharing some quotes from a tiny yellow pocket book that I received
as a gift. “The Little Book of
Confidence” by Susan Jeffers. Some are
more easy said then done; however, maybe the power of these words do make it
easier. Here are some of her suggestions:
-
The Higher Self:
Inside you is a place filled with joy, creativity, intuition, peace,
power, love and all good things. I call
it the Higher Self. Whenever in this
place, your confidence soars and all seems right with the world.
-
The Lower Self:
Inside you is also a place filled with self-doubt, fear, anger,
helplessness, scarcity and all negative things.
This is the Lower Self. Whenever
in this place, your confidence disappears, and all seems wrong with the world.
-
Lower-Self Thinking is a Habit:
Yes, Lower-Self thinking is only a habit. The good news is that habits can be broken.
By practicing a Higher-Self way of thinking, your fear diminishes and your
confidence rises.
-
Become a Higher-Self Thinker:
Your task is set before you... It is to take the steps necessary to
become a Higher-Self thinker. Many of
these steps are embodied in this little book of confidence. (ZK: Of course I
will not be sharing all of Susan Jeffers’ suggestions here, but doesn’t even
just focusing on love, peace, love and our positive experiences make us enjoy
life more? Isn’t self-acceptance is one of the measures of inner happiness?)
-
Say ‘Yes’ To It All:
Real positive thinking is saying YES even to the fear and pain –
realizing you will always get to the other side. And when you reach the other
side, you notice your confidence has grown enormously.
-
You
Can Handle It All: As you continue pushing through fear and doing it anyway,
you learn to trust your ability to handle whatever life may hand you. Trust me
on this one!
...
Thank you Susan.
*
I wish all
you joyful days in March. Best wishes,
Zeynep
Quote of the Week:
“As you teach so will you learn. If that is true, and it is true indeed,
do not forget that what you teach is teaching you.”
From
Course in Miracles
Affirmation of the Week:
“Everything
that happens in my life is for the best.”
