Talk about
synchronicity. I was reading a book on
Thich Nhat Hanh. As I was reading the
sentence “For him, a ringing telephone is a signal to call us back to our true
selves” in the “Editor’s Introduction” section of the book, the phone
rang. Not one sentence before, not
after. At that short part of a second
that I finished the sentence. I found
myself smiling more deeply as I had been smiling for sometime as I was
re-reading this book on mindfulness and personal peace on this warm and sunny
morning.
The call
was from a client who had not been in contact with me for over a year. At the time she had been having problems with
her husband. Her condition had improved,
but lately I had been wondering how she was. This time she was calling me to
refer a friend of hers to me.
So many
women are in conflict with their husbands.
It is tough to see people suffer.
Some of these women are with men who are totally abusive, but they still
choose to stay with them. Surviving as a
single woman and even more as a single mother is not easy; and some choose the
abuse instead of the difficulties of surviving alone. Unfortunately families in Turkey a lot of the
time demand the women to try to make it work.
Especially if they have kids. There
are many couples who are able to make it if they are able to reach an
understanding about their problems.
However, this requires both parties to take responsibility and to work
on themselves.
Some women
are unwilling to accept the fact that they cannot change another person and
also that they do not have the right to change their spouse. They spend their lives trying to change their
husbands and partners who do not have any desire to change. Life gets tough if
we want everyone to act, to think and to choose as we want them to. We only have the right and the ability to
change ourselves.
I work with
many women, of all ages. I work with men
as well, a lot fewer though. There are very few men who go to a coach or a
healer to heal their relationships with their wives or children. Most of the men that I work with come to work
on their careers and their responsibility to provide for themselves and their
families. A smaller number of men I work
with have very serious health problems. Most of the rest are trying to deal
with the loss of a loved one. According to my experience, the reasons men and
women turn to self-development or healing are quite different. Men and women are different in so many ways.
...
The Dalai
Lama says “Although attempting to bring
about world peace through the internal transformation of individuals is
difficult, it is the only way.” Like
many great Buddhist masters Thich Nhat Hanh focuses his teachings on mindful
living, on mindfulness. He teaches about
conscious breathing and awareness of breath, especially as a tool to be mindful
of each moment, of each act in our lives.
Like one of my own teachers Paracha, Thich Nhat Hanh also brings into
our attention the importance of smiling.
I am a firm believer in smiling and in the power of a smile. The chemistry of our body changes as we smile. Our body relaxes. As we smile, the changes that happen in our
body clear away our worries and tiredness.
In Vipassana meditations, most masters want us to keep a smile on our
face while we are focusing on our five senses and/or focusing on our body and
organs.
Thich Nhat
Hanh in all his teachings reminds us that we do not need a special time or a
place to meditate. As long as we can
breathe and smile, we are able to tap into the energy of self-awareness and
internal power. I will admit that when I
had just started to meditate, I would be upset about the dog that barked outside,
or the music that did not seem appropriate for the mood, or the heat, or the
cushion or the chair. It was hard to
accept what is, to embrace the moment.
Of course,
now I know the tricks that we use in order not to listen to our heart and
soul. We create so many
distractions. We are magicians when it
comes to finding ways to stop ourselves.
And I also discovered that the only way to pass through those phases is
to live through them. To be upset and to
continue to try to meditate. To be angry
and to continue. To find it useless and
to continue. Then came a time when I
could be in the middle of a traffic jam in Istanbul, and I would be able to
smile and watch life as if in slow motion.
Then came a time when I would be on the escalator in a crowded shopping
mall and the moment I started to consciously observe my breathing, the colours
around me would brighten and I would start to hear my thoughts clearly as if
all of the noise around me has been filtered out.
Trainings
of different breathing techniques are very popular in Turkey for the past
couple of years. My brother Yaman is a
breathing coach. I personally have not
advanced in that area. For me, I found
it enough to strengthen my awareness of my breathing. Most of us when are afraid or excited stop to
breath. Literally. Just to be aware of
how you react to different emotions in your breathing can make a big difference
in how you live those emotions as well as in your health. With the help of breathing, we can transform
our feelings.
Breathing
is always with us. It is not a goal to
be reached. It is not something to be completed. Not something to be overcome
or to be left behind. Breathing is with
us, always and constantly. It is about
just being, just doing. Continuous,
essential and natural and effortless at the same time. Breathing keeps us alive, helps us renew our
body, helps us connect with the air, with nature.
Meditation is
about creating a space to receive information that was not apparent with our busy
minds. Meditation is about slowing down
our brain waves. It is about relaxation
and tapping into peacefulness.
One of my
favourite meditations is the walking meditation. To walk just to walk and to be in the
moment. Not giving importance or
attention to the destination. Such a
free feeling.
These are
the thoughts and feelings that Vietnamese Zen Master and peace activist Thich
Nhat Hanh brought to my mind and heart. Some may call him a monk; some call him
a great bodhisattva. I call him like
many great masters a “master of light.”
May our
days be filled with many moments of love and light.
Zeynep
Affirmation
of the Week, From Louise Hay:
“ I Love My
Ankles
My ankles
give me mobility and direction. I release all fear and guilt. I accept pleasure with ease. I move in the direction of my highest
good. I choose the thoughts that bring
me pleasure and joy into my life. I am
flexible and flowing. I love and
appreciate my beautiful ankles.”
