Missing Lady

After being in Fethiye for only a few weeks this winter, I am back in Fethiye.  Whether it is sunny or rainy, there is always a special energy in this special town.  It is one of the places on the planet that I feel more connected to life and to the Divine.

                I have been using and teaching various methods for about twelve years and writing about complementary therapies and life in the past five or six years in Land of Lights.  I am an engineer by training, however it is not possible for me to imagine a life in which our intuitions and feelings are not considered as important as our analytic mind.  Not anymore.  We have tools other than our mind or five senses, tools that we are not using fully, tools we are not fully aware of.  Our intuition is a very important tool and we seem to use it better and better first of all by listening to it, by respecting it and by taking it seriously. 

                It is easier to listen to our intuition when it matches what our mind says.  Yet, how about when the mind and the intuition say different things?

                About a week ago I received a message from the veterinarian of my German shepherd dogs in İstanbul.  She was suggesting that one of two female dogs must be fixed, sterilized since she had been pregnant twice at a relatively young age and our guards at our organic garden have not been able to protect our dog Lady at the time that she was fertile.  Actually the vet had asked me to give an approval for this operation this winter as well.  For some reason it had not felt right and I had said no.  A few days after I arrived in Fethiye, the veterinarian was asking for my approval and confirmation for this operation again.  She had sent the message that it was for the good of the dog and they would pick her up from the garden and do everything necessary and bring her back when she was totally healed.  The message arrived at a time I was quite busy with trainings and sessions.  I read the email sent by the vet to my secretary in İstanbul.  Again it did not feel right. I knew that with five other dogs in the garden, it was not easy for my staff to keep the dogs apart during the fertile times of the females.  It could be done, but for some reason we have not been good at it.  So when the message came, although I still did not feel good about this operation, I found it difficult to say “no” since I did not have any tangible reasons to say no.  It did not feel right, but I did not say no.  I said yes.  I told my staff to take care of the details for the operation.  I remember that I reminded my secretary to make sure that we checked the state of our dog Lady often and to let me know about how she was healing.

Two days later I received the news from İstanbul.  A long list of complications had happened during Lady’s operation and they have not been able to save her.  Our young and healthy German shepherd had died due a long list of reasons that the vet had written in a long email.  I was very sad, but not only for the loss of this beautiful and gentle female dog, but more for not listening to my very clear intuition.  Please do not get it wrong, I make almost all of my decisions with my hearts, my intuition’s approval.  That is my new way of living.  Almost all of the time.  But sometimes, sometimes, when there is an expert involved in the decision, sometimes I make the mistake of not listening to the voice that protected me hundreds of times over the years. 

After I came back to Fethiye, I learned that I need to go to the city of Elazığ in Eastern Turkey for a meeting for a couple of days.  I was being called for a very important meeting for a project.  I would have to make very important decision that would have huge financial and legal effects on the government and the community as well as me, my family and our business.  Learning about Lady before this important trip was a very important message for me, a gift from Lady if I may say. A very sad but an immensely important message for me.

Years ago I had decided to listen to my heart and not to make decisions that do not feel right And I was doing this, this was becoming my way of living However, Lady was telling me, showing me that I had to make a much clearer choice.  Was I willing to live fully and completely what I believed in?  Not 90 percent, not 99 percent, but was I willing to listen to my intuition on a full hundred percent?  Was I willing to say yes or no depending and trusting on my intuition all of the time, and not back out when I cannot come up with logical reasons?

I believe that in life there are things that we can control and things that we cannot.  Sometimes it is hard to say which is which. Yet Lady’s message to me is very clear.  It was clear from the first moment of the bad news. ... “Please listen to your heart, please listen to your intuition.  It has protected you.  It protects what you love as well.” ... I thank her.  For coming into my life. For the four babies that she has given us in the last years.  Lady’s memory will always be precious for me.  May she be in peace and light.  May her message be always clear in my mind...

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Affirmation of the Week:  From Louise L. Hay, “It is safe to be me.  I express who I am.”

Book Recommendation: “Biology of Belief-İnancın Biyolojisi” by Dr. Bruce H. Lipton