Back to Writing in English

On August 6th when I wrote in my blog in English, I realized that it had been 1 day short of four years since I published anything in that blog. 

In 2016, I had been elected to serve as the Second Vice District Governor in our Lions Clubs District in Izmir. It meant that I would be on the board for four years and serve as the District Governor and the Federation President for one year. 

I knew that these positions would take a lot of time, however, this commitment required even more of my personal time than I expected.  What made it more difficult was the fact that I lived in two cities, Istanbul and Fethiye, simultaneouly.   And since apart from one Club in Fethiye which I am a member of, the rest of the 64 Clubs were scattered in various cities and towns in Western and South Western part of Turkey, mainly in Izmir and Antalya.  

And since our District’s headquarters were in Izmir, it meant a lot of travelling and a lot of time spent away from home.  Especially during my year as the District Governor, apart from work which I had minimised for that year, and my voluntary work for Lions, I had almost no time for anything else.

I had an amazing four years with our Lions District.  I met hundreds of wonderful people in my District, in Turkey and in the World. I learned a lot.  I almost grew up in some aspects.  I feel very lucky and deeply grateful, therefore I am not really complaining.  Yet in hindsight, I realized that it meant that I had to put some of the things that I love to do on hold.  Like writing.

During those four years, except for the year I served as the District Governor of D118R of Turkey, I continued to write in Turkish, even though not as much as I used to before. 

However, I did not write in English at all. 

I love writing. In Turkish and in English, as well.  I wrote two of my books in English. They are not translations for my books in Turkish.  I really like learning and using the English language.   I used to write some of my journals in English, however, I started to write in English when I started to write a weekly column for a local English newspaper.  If I remember correctly, I wrote for that paper for at least three or four years.  I also remember how difficult It was to express what I wanted to say at first, and how the ideas and words started to flow more easily after the first year.

Today, as I decide to start to write in English again, writing feels awkward.  I find myself looking for words and they are not coming to me easily.   I feel that I will need to accept to live with this feeling of incompetence for a while.  I know from past experiences that, sometimes, even though English is a foreign language for me, I am able to express myself better.  Sometimes it really happens, or at least happened, that way. 

For that reason, I want to give it a try again.  Whlle doing that, I think, for a while, I might have to find a way to make peace with accepting my inabiliy to express myself as I would like to.  

Therefore, let this be a new beginning.

In my column in English, I used to share a quote and an affirmation each week.  I would like to continue to do that.  I hope that their message and energy will give you support.

With love and light,

Zeynep

Affirmation of the Week:

“I calm my thoughts and I am serene.”

By Louise Hay

Quote of the Week:

“Surround yourself with people who respect and treat you well.”

By Claudia Black