The Messages of Our Weight and Body

I spent most of my childhood years as a very thing girl. During my high school years I did gain weight, however gave most of it back during college at Cornell University. Students who go to the US usually gain weight. There is a term “freshman fifteen” and it is used to refer to the weight that students gain in their first year in college, which is about 15 pounds. I on the other hand lost about 15 during my first two years at Cornell. My height was 158 cm, and my weight ranged from 47-52 kgs over my four years in college. I was 58 kg when left for the states from Turkey. I was 52 kg when I returned to Turkey after college. My weight has been fluctuating over the years, up and down and up again. This is one issue that has not been very stable in my life, and one issue I would like to look more seriously into. So far it had not been top priority; and I feel that the time has come.

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When looking at a health issue through the eyes of complementary medicine, or holistic medicine, we need to beyond the visible. If I am overweight, unless I have a different health problem issue, I must be taking in more calories then I am spending. To lose weight I would need to eat less and exercise more. However, for many people going to a dietician and going to sports clubs do not solve their weight problems. Even though they may lose weight, most of them gain weight right back. Why?

Although we understand the mathematics behind gaining weight, unless we look into the reasons of why we choose to have excess weight on our bodies, we cannot find permanent solutions. And being overweight means that we subconsciously believe that the excess weight is necessary or that being overweight is serving us in some way. If we can discover these hidden benefits that the excess weight is providing, then we can find a way to be and to stay in our ideal weight.

How could being overweight serve us?

If you subconsciously believe that you are not safe, and that you need protection, gaining weight is one way your body responds to this thought. Finding food meant safety for humans for hundreds of years, and your body responds with ancient protection methods to your current safety issues. You might be feeling unsafe because you may not be getting the promotion you want; your body senses insecurity from your experience, and you gain weight. You may try dieting, but under those conditions you will not be able to lose that weight no matter what you do. On the surface you want to lose weight. However, on a deeper level, your subconscious keeps saying: “I need protection.” And having food is being safe. And also with the extra weight you are physically adding layers around your body which are in a way your natural shields.

Being aware of our unknown ulterior motives is not easy. Yet, even knowing that they exist brings enough awareness to create change.

Of course there are many reasons for overeating, however the need or desire for protection, insecurity issues are some of the most common ones. There are many more. If we are overweight and we are staying that way, this means that this condition is serving us in some way. If we did not choose to stay fat, we most probably wouldn’t be.

I would certainly request you to have your medical check-ups to make sure that you do not have a health problem that needs immediate attention. If you are not able to control your weight even though medically you do not seem to have any problems, then it is appropriate to look at the issue from another perspective.

I feel the need to add that all illnesses tell us something about our way of thinking and our subconscious beliefs as well. For example, if we keep on having injuries, then first it is necessary to take care of the wound. Yet, later on we need to find out why we keep on having wounds. How is this serving us in any way?

Once I had client, an old lady a grandmother of three kids, who came to me asking for some supportive energy. She had broken a leg, and felt the need to heal fast to help her daughter to take care of her three kids, her own grandchildren. In a few seconds the picture was clear to me.

I asked her: “Why did you break your leg?” First she looked quite puzzled, then she started to cry. After crying for a few minutes, she looked up and said: “I cannot go on anymore. I am so tired.” It turns out she had been feeling very tired with the responsibility of supporting her daughter with the kids. However, she could not find the courage or heart to share this with her daughter. She could not say to her that she was tired, and although she loved them all very much, it was difficult for her to find the energy as well as the patience to be with three young kids every day. With a broken leg, she had the permission. All on the subconscious level. Please remember that she had come to me to have faster healing and more energy to take care of her chores.

This lady needs to share her honest situation with her daughter, and learn to say “no” to demands when she does not want to accept. Also using methods like Reiki she can find ways to increase her energy and not feel so frustrated.

Over the years I have seen that a lot of the injuries that we are experiencing are self-induced subconsciously to serve us, to protect us in an interesting way.

As for anorexia and bulimia, these conditions are also serving the person in some way. In the cases that I have worked with as a coach, not loving the self seems to be the main thought that triggers anorexia. There may be many different reasons for how and why this thought is created, however belief of self-worthlessness or even self-hate can become very strong. For both anorexia and bulimia, immediate medical care and professional psychological support might be necessary. However, I believe that after the urgent measures are taken, attention to the thoughts and beliefs that trigger these conditions needs to be given as well.

I would like to share some affirmations for self-love and self-acceptance this week. Repeat them whenever you can, in the morning, during the day, in the evenings, but at least 20-25 times a day. You can choose one affirmation and work on that over a week, or you may choose one every day and use different affirmations each day. Please follow your heart.

I trust the process of life.

I am deeply fulfilled by all that I do.

I am safe, it’s only change.

I can release the past and forgive everyone.

I love my body.

I love life.

I am worth loving.

My healing is already in process.

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I wish all of you a wonderful week.
With lots of love,

Zeynep

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Affirmation of the Week:
“Today I listen to my feelings, and I am gentle with myself. I know that all of my feelings are my friends.” By Louise L. Hay

Quote of the Week:
“Man is asked to make of himself what he is supposed to become to fulfil his destiny.”
Paul Tillich

Zeynep’s Book Recommendation:
“The Life You Were Born To Live” By Dan Millman
The Turkish translations of these stories are available under the name “Hayatınızın Amacı”.

Power of Laughter

There is amazing power in laughter, and in humour. I am one of those who believe in the power of the smile, both to make me and those around me happier and stronger.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox said “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” Smile and the world smiles also, I can guarantee at least most of the time.



Peter Ustinov said “Laughter is the most civilized music in the world.”

Well, this week I would like to write about laughter and humour because unless we integrate them into our lives, maintaining health and happiness becomes quite difficult.

This week I worked with two clients who are dealing with life threatening conditions, and through our conservations both have admitted to the fact they do not even recall when they last laughed, a real laugh that came from their heart. We are not talking about the polite smiles at work, or the pressured laugh at friend’s birthday party.

When was the last time you laughed?

How frequently do you laugh in a day? In a week? In a month?

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Did you know that ‘a sense of humour’ is cited as the most sexually attractive trait in surveys? More seems to be involved in real attractions than our body parts. Many psychologists agree that laughter opens up our senses, as well as our mind.

Laughter also seems to affect our endocrine systems, and produce natural painkillers and increase our immune system.

I have believed that growing up and getting older meant being more serious. I could not totally manage it, but tired to be more reserved that what was natural to me. I do not anymore.

I do not watch the news in the evenings anymore. I do read the paper, but not first thing in the morning anymore. I save that for times during the day where my subconscious is more protected and aware of the negative input bombardment. What you see, read or hear does affect you, whether you believe, accept or even want to take it in. The second you are in contact, the input, the information is in your system.

The news say that the world is not a safe place, that the economy is crashing and life standards will fall. If you are listening to these news without awareness, like when you are just up in the morning, or about to sleep in the evening, or just dozing off on the couch on a Sunday afternoon, you are being sold to this information as true. Whether you know or accept it or not. Your subconscious cannot differentiate between what is really true and what is just being told as someone’s perspective on what seems to be taking place.

So somewhere in your being a part of you believes that the world is not safe, and act accordingly. And you will find yourself questioning why you are afraid to try even the smallest new things. A part of you is doing crisis management, and you are not even aware.

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There are so many different stories and battles that are taking place in our personalities, in our bodies that we are not aware. Yet, as soon as we open ourselves to this possibility, we can do something to stop creating useless and even dangerous new influences to our physical, emotional and mental health.

Affirmations are great tools to reprogram thoughts and beliefs that do not serve us anymore.

And also happiness, laughter, humour increase our energy levels to the highest of our potential. They indeed do. And in that state, all that seem to trouble us become apparent and surmountable.

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Exercises of the Week:

1- This week as you go out, or just while you are walking in the street, try to catch people’s eyes and smile at them. (They may or may not smile back at you, but the changes are most of them will.)
2- Watch at least one comedy film or show this week.
3- Buy yourself or borrow a comic book or a cartoon book and read it allowing yourself to smile or laugh as you feel.
4- Catch yourself when (and if) you are frowning and turn it into a smile. Whether you are alone or with others.
5- And finally an affirmation: “I am usually cheerful, and bring a sense of lightness to my life and the lives of others.”

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May you journey be filled with joy and happiness.

With love and light,
Zeynep

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Awareness of the Week: Cheerfulness

Affirmation of the Week:“I am in a joyous, intimate relationship with a person who truly loves me.”
By Louise L. Hay

Quote of the Week:
“Do not try to explain feelings. Live everything intensely and treasure what you feel as a gift from God.”
From “Brida” by Paulo Coelho

“The Road Less Travelled” By M. Scott Peck
The Turkish translation of the book may be found under the name “Az Seçilen Yol”.