Change

I have been listening mainly to one song for the last two, three weeks.  I listen to the radio in my car in Istanbul and in Fethiye there is a CD that I have been listening to for the whole of last year.   However, in the last three weeks regardless of which city or town I was in, there was only one song for me.  Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.”

This happens to me sometimes. I seem to find comfort in the words, sounds or the frequencies of one particular song that I keep playing over and over again.  I listened to various versions of this song and Jeff Buckley’s is the one I keep listening to.

And I cannot help but think and wonder why I did not go to the concerts that Leonard Cohen gave in İstanbul in the last few years.  I knew about the concerts.  I knew his songs, but for some reason I had not listened to “Hallelujah” up until a month ago.  Then I heard three different versions of this song one after the other by coincidence.  “Hallelujah” changed Leonard Cohen for me.  That song made me feel what Cohen is all about. Especially through Jeff Buckley’s voice.

I remember that I had a similar but more intense experience about 8 years ago. I kept listening to one song over and over  for two or three weeks right after my Dad passed away.  I kept listening to the same song. Again over and over.  And I also painted. I painted with the same set of tones of blue, listening to the same song, until I could not anymore. Then first the colours, then my music changed.

There are many ways to heal ourselves. There are many techniques.  Sometimes all we need is the frequency of a song washing our body and soul.

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A friend of mine posed a question a few days ago. His question was “Why do we change if we ever do?” His follow up question was “Do we ever realize and admit that we are wrong, and how often do we do that?”  With these simple questions in a group discussion I found myself looking back.  Surely I did change my life of forty something years. Why did I change when I did? Not only where I live, what I do for a living changed, but also what I believe in, my inner world also changed quite dramatically.

What made me change the most? The main reason was probably pain.  The pain of the not so pleasant experiences of my life.  I changed because the way I was did not work for me. I also changed because of my regrets of the pain that I caused in other people’s lives.  It is not easy to accept that we could be the reason for the sadness and disappointment in other people’s lives.

And what made me change even more drastically was seeing people whom I have hurt - mostly unknowingly, but who did not seem to have any resentment or anger for me.  The people who let themselves be hurt by me until I discovered what I am doing. They taught me the most.

I am listening to “Hallelujah” again tonight. I realize that two days ago, as I was listening to the same song from my laptop computer in my living room in Arnavutköy in İstanbul, it was difficult to hear the music.  The sound of the traffic at the Bosphorus, the sounds of the boats, the sounds of the big city, the hum had made it difficult to hear, even with my windows closed.  And I had thought that the sound system of my computer was not good enough.  I had thought the recording was probably not good enough as well.  Two nights later in Fethiye, suddenly the same music from the same computer is almost too loud.  Hallelujah.

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Living in two cities simultaneously makes me continuously aware of differences. In the weather, in sounds and colours, in relationships, in friendships, in what is meaningful. The list goes on.  So much is different between Fethiye and İstanbul, and so much is different in my lives there.  I travel at least once a week; sometimes I find myself in airplanes five or six times in one week.  I am not exactly in the position of the famous CEO who gave his most permanent address as 3D, his favourite and most common spot in the plane.  But routines are almost non-existent in my life.  Something is always changing. But, when life is constantly changing, what happens to me?  Does this allow me to change, does this make me change or resist change?

I found some of the answers to those questions in NLP.  Not all, but surely some. Those of you who are familiar with NLP Neuro-Linguistic Programming and meta models/meta programs will remember who all of us have different sets of inherent inner rules or rather codes that we seem to use as we steer our lives. Some of feel safer and happier when things are continuously chancing and someone of would rather have the same dish at the same restaurant at the same time of every week.  There is no right or wrong way of being.  And once we discover the thinking and belief system that we use to operate, then we can start to use our mind to create new programs, to ways to respond and act.  Hopely to make our lives happier and more satisfying.

I would like to share about NLP in the coming weeks.  If used with proper caution and understanding, NLP can be very effective in discovering the true positive power of our minds.

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Finally I will end by sharing some quotes from a tiny yellow pocket book that I received as a gift.  “The Little Book of Confidence” by Susan Jeffers.  Some are more easy said then done; however, maybe the power of these words do make it easier. Here are some of her suggestions:

-          The Higher Self:  Inside you is a place filled with joy, creativity, intuition, peace, power, love and all good things.  I call it the Higher Self.  Whenever in this place, your confidence soars and all seems right with the world.

-          The Lower Self:  Inside you is also a place filled with self-doubt, fear, anger, helplessness, scarcity and all negative things.  This is the Lower Self.  Whenever in this place, your confidence disappears, and all seems wrong with the world.

-          Lower-Self Thinking is a Habit:  Yes, Lower-Self thinking is only a habit.  The good news is that habits can be broken. By practicing a Higher-Self way of thinking, your fear diminishes and your confidence rises.

-          Become a Higher-Self Thinker:  Your task is set before you... It is to take the steps necessary to become a Higher-Self thinker.  Many of these steps are embodied in this little book of confidence. (ZK: Of course I will not be sharing all of Susan Jeffers’ suggestions here, but doesn’t even just focusing on love, peace, love and our positive experiences make us enjoy life more? Isn’t self-acceptance is one of the measures of inner happiness?)

-          Say ‘Yes’ To It All:  Real positive thinking is saying YES even to the fear and pain – realizing you will always get to the other side. And when you reach the other side, you notice your confidence has grown enormously.

-          You Can Handle It All: As you continue pushing through fear and doing it anyway, you learn to trust your ability to handle whatever life may hand you. Trust me on this one!

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Thank you Susan.

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I wish all you joyful days in March. Best wishes,

Zeynep

Quote of the Week:

“As you teach so will you learn. If that is true, and it is true indeed, do not forget that what you teach is teaching you.”               

                                                                                                              From Course in Miracles

Affirmation of the Week:

“Everything that happens in my life is for the best.”