I was in Bolu at Abant Izzet Baysal University last week for a workshop. The topic of the workshop was Sustainable Living. This was the third time this workshop was organised in Turkey.
Twice it was organized in Ankara at Middle East Technical University. This time it was in Bolu. The two main instructors at the workshop were Findhorn Ecovillage in Scotland. May East and Michael Shaw came to Turkey to teach about social and ecological aspects of sustainability. This was May East’s third time in Turkey, and the second time for Michael Shaw.
I have deep respect for people who are not only taking about the environment, the pollution, the carbon emissions, but doing what they can to protect and to inform and awaken others. I have respect for the actions taken by Findhorn and its community members.
There was great emphasis on social sustainability in the workshop. Most of the people were expecting to hear mainly the ecological aspects, yet global experiences have shown that communities, associations, groups that bring people together for a cause fail unless there is social sustainability in the structure. Both May and Michael shared that initiatives fail not because there are not sufficient funds or there is not enough good technology; projects fail because people are not able to live together, are not able to work and create together. They have studied the ecovillage initiatives in the world and 90% of these failed, and the main reasons seemed to be the social aspects. For that reason social aspects and methods were an equally important part of this workshop as well as the ecological aspects.
Nonviolent Communication, decision making processes, spiral dynamics and the transition town movements were some of the important elements and tools of social sustainability. Nonviolent Communication, NVC as it is more commonly known, is a very strong and important approach which is becoming more and more popular around the world. We keep hearing more about it in Turkey as well. NVC is a way of speaking that helps to exchange information and resolve conflict between different parties. NVC focuses on our feelings and our needs that bring up those feelings. It is an honest way of communication that focuses on a deeper understanding of ourselves and the people were are communicating with. The structure of it was created by Marshall B. Rosenberg and he has written many books about it. Nonviolent Communication is the most commonly known book of his. Teaching Children Compassionately and Speak Peace In a World of Conflict are two other books by Rosenberg I just completed reading. I recommend all of his books deeply. Unfortunately most of them are available only in English. Some people call NVC - this way of communication - compassionate communication.
NVC aims to set aside blames, put-downs, comparisons and judgements. It aims to create a safe zone with respect and care. It brings a new approach to talking and listening. It encourages us to observe situations and dialogues without evaluating. This objective evaluation creates a common and acceptable common ground in communication. I strongly recommend you to look into NVC. It is not something we can learn in a day; we need to undo some of our old habits of talking, evaluating and even judging. Yet with time it surely becomes a very effective tool.
NVC encourages us to express our feelings. Yet, as we try to do this it becomes more apparent that we are usually not in touch with our feelings. Most of what we call feelings seems to be how we think others are behaving. People use words such as abandoned, abused, neglected, let down, unsupported and rejected to describe so called feelings. Yet these are actually words that describe how we interpret what others are doing. Words that express feelings are words like amazed, confident, calm, carefree, delighted, fulfilled, thankful, or afraid, angry, annoyed, bewildered, cross, discouraged, mad, mean, unhappy, worried, upset, etc. NVC encourages us to enlarge our dictionary of feelings to be in touch with how we really are feeling. After objective observation, being able to express feelings is another important element of NVC.
I hope to share more about NVC and the social aspects of sustainability in the future. For now I send all of you lots of love from Istanbul. Hope to be in Fethiye soon.
From Rumi: “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”
