With Love from Japan

Here I am in Japan.

Yesterday, on May 4th, I gave my speech in front of about ten thousand people at Meishusama Hall in Misono in Shigaraki Mountains.

Japan is so different and so very familiar in many ways.

I have been on a very busy schedule since we arrived and will keep on travelling to various different locations.

I would like to say many things, however I will probably need to wait to write about them until I come back to Turkey.

I would like to say that there is a lot of love and respect for Turkey.

I send you a picture taken in front of the Meishusama Hall where I gave my speech, and send all of you love and light.

Ah, one more interesting note, yesterday as I was walking to the Hall for the rehearsal of the speech at 7 am with my friends Chikako and Satoru Nakano, I saw an ad for a photography exhibition. If I recall correctly the title of the exhibition was ‘The Hallowed Land of Light’. Some of the pictures in the exhibition were taken in where I was, in Misono in the Shigaraki Mountais. I could not help myself from thinking about our wonderful Land of Lights, the wonderful area of Fethiye and its environs and our Land of Lights newspaper.

In my speech in one section I talked about coincidences and how they show us maybe more than we realize and about the messages that they store for us. I am thankful that they are happening wherever I am around the world.

I wish you all many happy coincidences and miracles.
With love and light from Japan.
Z.

Suggested Reading:
I would like to suggest to google or read about Japan this week, to discover this wonderful land for yourself.

Messages of the Week, from Napoleon Hill

Most of you have probably heard of the famous movie and book The Secret by now. There are also many books out about The Law of Attraction discussed in this book. There are also many books out by the teachers featured in The Secret such as Joe Vitale and Bob Proctor.

Jack Canfield, John Gary, Neale Donald Walsh and Fred Alan Wolf were some of the famous authors who were also featured in the movie The Secret.

There are also teachers from the past that have been credited and not credited in the book. Fewer people know of Napoleon Hill. He had his best seller in 1930 and wrote many books until he passed away in 1970.

Louise L. Hay is a teacher and author not mentioned in the Secret with respect to the law of attraction. However, I believe that with her enormous works on healing with affirmations, with changing our thoughts. “Heal Your Body”, “The Power is Within You”, “You Can Heal Your Life” are some of her great books. By the way, the movie “You Can Heal Your Life” is also out. www.hayhouseradio.com is a wonderful address where you can listen to many authors and teachers live. I recommend checking it out.

I would like to pay a visit to masters of all times and walks of life as much as I can. This week I would like to share messages from Napoleon Hill.

*
Messages from Napoleon Hill:

1. Edison failed 10.000 times before perfecting the incandescent electric light bulb. Don’t worry if you fail once.
2. The average person would have quit at the first failure. That’s why there have been many average men and only one Edison.
3. Drifting, without aim or purpose, is the first cause of failure.
4. Making life “easy” for children usually makes life “hard” for them in adulthood.
5. Most of us don’t mind being told of our faults if the critic is generous enough to mix in a few of our virtues as well.
6. Success requires no explanation; failures must be doctored with alibis.
7. There is a vast difference between failure and temporary defeat.
8. Your real courage shows best in the hour of adversity.
9. There always remains an opportunity to make a new start.
10. Most failures could have been converted into successes if someone had held on another minute or made more effort.
11. Success attracts success and failure attracts failure because of the law of harmonious attraction.
12. The one who tries to get something for nothing generally winds up getting nothing for something.
13. Failure is not a disgrace if you have sincerely done your best.
14. If you don’t know why you failed, you are no wiser than when you began.
15. You never know who your real friends are until adversity overtakes you and you need cooperation.
16. Before opportunity crowns you with great success, it usually tests you mettle through adversity.
17. The most important job is that of learning how to negotiate with others without friction.
18. If you have more enemies than friends, the odds are a thousand to one you have earned them.
19. Your reputation is what people think you are; your character is what you are.
20. Every thought you release becomes a permanent part of your character.
21. Some people resemble a cheap watch, they are not dependable.
22. If you are a shepherd, be the best and you may live to own the flock.
23. Take possession of your own mind, and you may soon make life pay off on your terms.
24. You cannot be entirely free until you are entirely honest with yourself.
25. Would you take a chance on being judged in heaven by the same rules you use to judge your fellow men?
26. Only one thing will attract love. And that is love.

*

As Doreen Virtue says “Keep expecting the best out of life, because you will truly get what you expect.”

With love and light,

Z.


______________________________________________________________________
Affirmation of the Week:
“I am the joy of Life expressing and receiving. I am a Magnet for Miracles.”
By Louise L. Hay
________________________________________________________________________
Quote of the Week:
“Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.”
Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled

______________________________________________________________________
Suggested Reading:
“Biology of Belief” By Bruce H. Lipton
The Turkish translation of the book may be found under the name “İnancın Biyolojisi”.

______________________________________________________________________

What Did the Master Say?

I am re-reading some of the books that I have. Some books are worth reading and reading again. “Many Lives, Many Masters” By Brian Weiss brought the topic to my mind.

What is mastery? We seem to associate the word ‘mastery’ either with skills of doing or on the opposite pole with spiritual practices.

In that sense is it something only a few lucky ones can achieve?

Is it an attainable concept or position in life?

What is “Mastery”?

And what does it mean to be a “Master”?

...

I believe that we all have an inner master, a higher intelligence. And also that we all have a connection waiting for us to give us all that we need to have or known. The pass code for that connection is also hidden within, for us to discover.

And there are Masters that lead the way. For me, mastery is more than being a teacher. A master is who lives by the principles he or she teaches...

They lead the way by just being and doing.

*-*-*

I received a message from the Kabbalah Centre that I would like to share:

“It is written that when a great Kabalist was on his death bed, all his students gathered around him and asked, "Master, please tell us, what was the most important thing you did in your life?" The Kabbalist thought for a moment and answered, "What I am doing this very minute."

What does this teach and reinforce for us? Thinking about the past or worrying about the future is a waste of time. It only takes us away from the importance of the moment we're in.

Today, be present in whatever it is you are doing. It is the most important thing you have ever done.

Impossibility is just an illusion of your ego, preventing you from true joy and contentment.

How do you allow your fears and insecurities to control you or limit you so that you don't take risks in your life?

Leaving behind the limitations of the physical world - what is your greatest dream yet unfulfilled? Let go of the critic within and truly dream outside the box today.”

*

Are you present now? Would you like to be?

For a day?
Or for a life time?

*-*-*

I believe that Brian Weiss is a brave Master.

Brain Weiss is a graduate of Columbia University and Yale Medical School. He is the founding chairman and chairman emeritus of the Department of Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami. This special medical doctor is a leading authority in past-life regression therapy.


He may be known as a psychiatrist; to me, he is an amazing healer with an open heart and mind. He is helping thousands remove barriers to reach freedom from fears, peace and happiness. His “Same Souls, Many Bodies” and “Mirrors of Time” are also intriguing books.

His biography is interesting:

“His background and extensive experience in traditional psychotherapy was set on a new course more than a decade ago when one of his patients began recalling past-life traumas that seemed to hold the key to her recurring nightmares and anxiety attacks. Astonished and initially skeptical, Weiss's skepticism eroded when his patient began to channel messages from "the space between lives," that contained remarkable revelations about Weiss's family and his dead son. Realizing that past-life regression presented potential as a powerful new therapy method, Weiss went on to cure the patient and embark on a new, more meaningful phase of his own career.”

*

The Masters talking in the book “Many Lives, Many Masters” say interesting things:

“… We are given intuitive power we should follow and not try to resist. …. We are not sent back from each plane with equal powers. Some of us possess powers greater than others, because they have been accrued from other times. Thus people are not all created equal. But eventually we will reach a point where we will all be equal….

… Patience and timing . . . everything comes when it must come. . . . Everything will be clear to you in time. But you must have a chance to digest the knowledge that we have given you already. …

… Energy . . . everything is energy. So much is wasted. The mountains . . . inside the mountain it is quiet; it is calm at the center. But on the outside is where the trouble lies. Humans can only see the outside, but you can go much deeper. You have to see the volcano. To do it you have to go deep inside. …

… You were correct in assuming this is the proper treatment for those in the physical state. You must eradicate the fears from their minds. It is a waste of energy when fear is present. It stifles them from fulfilling what they were sent here to fulfill. Take your cues from your surroundings. ...

… To be in physical state is abnormal. When you are in spiritual state, that is natural to you …”

*

Brian Weiss says “Realize that life is more than meets the eye. Life goes beyond our five senses.”

*-*-*


‘Come to the edge,” he said.
‘We can’t, Master, we’re scared.’
‘Come to the edge,’, he said.
‘We can’t, Master, we’re scared.’
‘Come to the edge,’ he said.
They came.
He pushed them…
They flew.

*-*-*

My father was a master in solving problems and manifesting. He was a master as an engineer. Although he chose to leave his post in this lifetime, he will remain to be my Master.

With all my love and gratitude to all of my Masters in this life and beyond...
Z.


______________________________________________________________________
Affirmation of the Week:
“I now follow my heart. I am open, and ready to go wherever it may lead me.”
By G. Ziegler
________________________________________________________________________
Quote of the Week:
“As you teach so will you learn. If that is true, and it is true indeed, do not forget that what you teach is teaching you.”
From the Course in Miracles
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Suggested Reading:
“Many Lives, Many Masters” By Brain L. Weiss, M.D.
The Turkish translation of the book may be found under the name “Birçok Yaşam Birçok Üstat”.

Two Roads Diverged, Which One to Take?

Sometimes, talking is too much. Words are too much. Or are they too little?

But what are we to do if that is all that we have at hand?


*

Emotions are more difficult to handle than thoughts. They need and require to be handled with honesty.

I am back in Fethiye for quite a long while. I really missed this city. I feel complete when I am here and feel connected to a different part of my soul that I seem to connect only here.

Then I will be going to Japan for a few weeks. I will be visiting various sites of the Japanese Shumei Foundation mainly in the Osaka, Kyoto and Okayama regions. I feel very close to the Japanese traditions. The Japanese energy healing and balancing technique “Reiki” is one the techniques that I use the most. Reiki is a wonderful energy, gentle, intelligent and strong.

The other Japanese energy technique that I learned this winter is called “Jyorei” It is a technique developed by the founder of the Shumei Foundaiton, Mokichi Okada. Mokichi Okada is also known as Meishusama “Master of Light.” Jyorei is a frequency that supports the purification of the soul, and to create health, prosperity and happiness in our daily lives.

The Shumei Foundation, through supporting energy purification healing technique Jyorei, through supporting natural agriculture and supporting art and increasing the awareness of the importance of beauty in our lives, wants to help create a peaceful and better world. The Shumei Foundation is a UN recognised NGO.

*

I am excited about this trip. Naturally I am excited when I am to visit new places.

However, I feel that this will be different. On May 4th, I will have the chance to give a short speech in front of a couple of thousand Japanese people in Misono, at the Meishuhama Hall at the Shigaraki Mountains north of Kyoto.



I am excited not because I will visit this sacred location or talk in front of such a crowd.

It was in a meditation that I heard a voice say “When you go to Kyoto, you will find some missing parts of your soul”...

I feel it to be true. I feel that something new waits for me and I am at a loss for words to describe it.

*

What to do when I am at a loss for words?

Then I turn to poetry.

I used to write poems; much more that I do now.

I was not that fond of prose. I loved poems.


*

I love Robert Frost’s poems. I think I read them first when I was in 8th or 9th grade.

In my freshman year in college my best friend’s sister gave me a book by M. Scott Peck, “The Road Less Travelled”. This was during the Thanksgiving holiday in 1988 in Boston. Looking back I feel that my journey might have begun with that book Renin game me. I was impressed and happy and sad and motivated. It definitely is a timeless book.

Remembering my own travels, I want to share with you Robert Frost’s famous poem of diverging roads. I see that there is a path, and with our choices we move along. I believe that we decide on a path as we plan to come to this world. How we decide to act when we start walking seems to be more difficult.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

….

How do I choose my path?

I cannot help but think that at each step, I am creating my life and destiny. However, I also believe that there is also a best scenario waiting to be discovered.

What to do? I try to take the one road that seems to call me - the one that my heart and soul wants. I believe that when I am able to listen to my mind, my heart and soul in union – then gateways open, even new roads are created. I believe that we are meant to discover our bliss when we are willing to hear.

I believe that– that has made the difference for me.


*-*-*

And I would like to share some inspiration from Eileen Caddy's book “Opening Doors Within”. She is one of the founders of the Findhorn Foundation in Scotland. In October 2007 and in February 2008, I had the chance to meet various teachers from Findhorn. This is a community that is trying to make sustainable living possible on this planet. I am also thankful for their efforts and their contribution to Turkey.
From “Opening Doors Within”:

“It is important that there is balance in every situation at all times. You will find when everything you undertake is done under My guidance, there will always be perfect balance. That is why you have to allow life to unfold without trying to force anything, for as you do, nothing can go wrong and nothing can be out of timing. It does not mean that you sit and do nothing, expecting everything to fall into your lap. You have to keep ever alert; you have to keep your consciousness raised; you have to expect the very best; you have to have faith that all is very, very well. You have to wait upon Me in absolute faith and confidence. You have to know without a shadow of a doubt that I AM your constant guide and companion. You have to know that your ways are guided by Me and by Me alone, so that every step you take is firm and sure and everything you do is done in love.”

*-*-*

As Leroy Bornlow said “There are times when silence has the loudest voice”.

May you find your answers in the sweet silence of your soul. Please listen.

May all your paths always be filled with love and light.

Z.


______________________________________________________________________
Affirmation of the Week:
“I am excited about growing and becoming even more of who I am.”
By Angeles Arrien
________________________________________________________________________
Quote of the Week:
“What I am looking for is a blessing that’s not in disguise.”
Kitty O’Neill Collins
______________________________________________________________________
Suggested Reading:
“Tuesdays with Morrie” By Mitch Albom.
This book is one of my favourites of all times. There is also a movie of this book out, with Jack Lemmon as Morrie.
The Turkish translation of the book may be found under the name “Öğretmenim Mori ile Salı Buluşmaları”.

Our Big Transformaiton Game - Life

Last October I was introduced to a wonderful game called The Transformation Game. It is a game developed at Findhorn, in Scotland and I was introduced to it by Ms.Deniz Dinçel. Deniz was in Fethiye last November as a guest of the Fethiye Lions Club to give seminars in some of the high schools in Fethiye. The topic was ecological foot prints and global warming. She is a biologist by training and she is organising the eco-village design and sustainable living workshops with the Middle East Technical University in Ankara. Deniz is also one of the current three certified facilitators of The Transformation Game in Turkey.

I was in Ankara in February to attend the second international workshop on Sustainable Living at METU (ODTÜ). Teachers from Findhorn, Scotland and from Torri Superiori Ecovillage in Italy were in Ankara, to share their knowledge and experiences on sustainable living and permaculture. Prof. Dr. Ali Gökmen and Prof. Dr. İnci Gökmen of the Chemistry Department of METU were the hosts of the workshop. I am very grateful for the effort and contributions to the workshop.

Sustainability was discussed from the social and ecological aspects in depth. Of course it is a very broad area; however it was a wonderful experience to share a whole week with like minded people from all around the world and Turkey. There were participants from Portugal, Israel, France and Australia. The instructors were from Turkey, Scotland and Italy. This was a confirmation for me that, in order to find solutions to global problems, we need to get together as citizens of this Earth.

*

When the topic is the welfare of the planet I cannot seem to stop myself.  Maybe what we can do is very little, but we can only do what we can do…

Back toThe Transformation Game… The game has been on sale in the D&R book stores for the last 5-6 months. At least I bought mine last November after Deniz told me that the game was available in Turkish.

This game is a wonderful representation of life. We can start playing the game with an intention about life and in about five to eight hours, we can see how things will turn out or what qualities about ourselves that we need to realize, see, accept or change.

The game gives us a wonderful opportunity for self-discovery and self-awareness, and also the truer and the more sincere we are to the game, the more we benefit. It becomes, it represents a very honest and concentrated version of our life.

We learn and experience possibilities in life, without the permanent effects. After the game, we can choose to take action or not. Hard to explain.

I really recommend experiencing this game. Do not be fooled by the word “game”. The Transformation Game gives us an opportunity to learn, to grown to live the life that we desire, or whatever we truly desire.

*-*-*

I was reading Neale Donald Walsch - again. My brother Yaman has been reading his books for the first time in the last few months and has been sharing with me his ideas about the books. I believe that Mr. Walsch has started a silent revolution for a happier world over a decade ago. I find his words sincere and from the heart. It has been maybe over four years since I listened to him in Istanbul. His approach to life and towards God could be worth listening to.

This week I would like to share some lines from his famous book series “Conversations with God”. So what could God be telling to us? Here it goes:

 You don’t have a clear focus; you’re not really sure what’s true for you. And the universe is just a big Xerox machine. It simply produces multiple copies of your thoughts. Now there’s only one way to change all that. You have to change your thought about it.

 Every prayer – every thought, every feeling, every statement – is creative. To the extent that it is fervently held as truth, to that degree will it be made manifest in your experience.


 We dare not solve all the problems, or there will be nothing left for us to do.

 Worry is the activity of a mind which does not understand its connection with God.

 Your perception of ultimate reality is more limited that you thought, and Truth is more unlimited than you can imagine.

 No one who has attained mastery is dull. Unusual, perhaps. Extraordinary, perhaps. But never dull.

 A true Master is not the one with the most students, but one who creates the most Masters.

 Your ideas about Right and Wrong are just that – ideas. They are the thoughts which form the shape and create the substance of Who You Are. There would be only one reason to change any of these; only one purpose in making alteration; if you are not happy with who you are.

 You have come here to work out an individual plan for your own salvation. Yet salvation does not mean saving yourself from the snares of the devil. You are saving yourself from the oblivion of non-realization.

 Why not simply acknowledge the truth when you hear it, and move towards it?

 You are not on this planet to produce anything with your body. You are on this planet to produce something with your soul. Your body is simply and merely the tool of your soul.

 The more you are, the more you can become, and the more you can become, the more you can yet be.

 There is no coincidence, and nothing happens “by accident.”

 You misunderstand your power. I tell you this: Your life proceeds out of you intentions for it.

 I talk to everyone. All the time. The question is not to whom do I talk, but who listens?

 A true teacher is not the one with the most knowledge, but one who causes the most others to have knowledge.

 Nothing occurs in your life - nothing – which is not first a thought. Thoughts are like magnets, drawing effects to you.

 Be patient. You are gaining wisdom.

 Every human thought, and every human action, is based in either love or fear. There is no other human motivation.

 You must first see yourself as worthy before you can see another as worthy. You must first see yourself as blessed before you can see another as blessed. You must first know Self to be holy before you can acknowledge holiness in another.

 You can know yourself to be generous, but unless you do something which displays generosity, you have nothing but a concept. You can know yourself to be kind, but unless you do someone a kindness, you have nothing but an idea about yourself.

 The soul – your soul – knows all there is to know all the time. There is nothing hidden to it, nothing unknown. Yet knowing is not enough. The soul seeks to experience.

 Treating others with love does not necessarily mean allowing others to do as they wish.

 God asks that you include yourself among those you love.


*-*-*

May your life be what you truly desire.

With love and light,
Z.


Affirmation of the Week:“Peace comes from remembering that only love is real.”
By Doreen Virtue

Quote of the Week:
“Lovers find secret places
Inside this violent world
Where they make transactions
With beauty.”
Mevlana Celaleddin Rumi

Zeynep’s Book Recommendation:“Sincerity and Truth – The Life Story of Meishusama” by Gerard Rohlfing

I thank you Water - I respect you Water - I love you Water

On the way to the contemplation garden in the Cluny Hill campus of The Findhorn Foundation in Scotland, there is a man-made pond. It is a small pond that seems to capture a different kind of energy. Near the pond written on the rocks and pebbles, you can read the words “I thank you Water; I respect you Water; I love you Water” in English and in many other languages. This reminded me of Masaru Emoto’s books.

I have an English copy of “The Secret Life of Water” in Fethiye.

In this book Emoto shares a story when he almost drowned when he was six or seven years old:

* “When I went home and told my mother what has happened, she gave me some advice based on her own ability to swim and her understanding of water. ‘You can float if you just give in,’ she said. She told me that if I let the water lift me instead of trying to resist it, it would pick me up and carry me.”

And Masaru Emoto continues to share. I would like to do the same:

* “... About 70 percent of our bodies are water. This is the case for adults of all races, and it is why people should not be divided by political strategies and ideologies. Just like water, people must always be allowed to flow freely. ... The desire for peace and prayers of love cannot be contained within borders. Differences in skin colour or language are easily overcome when hearts resonate together, creating a new flowing wave ....”
* “When we start to compare our happiness with that of others, we soon start resonating with the hado of unhappiness. As long as we search for happiness from outside, then it’s unlikely that true happiness can ever be found.”
* “The search for happiness is ultimately and simply a search for self. You can go searching for it in distant lands, but you’ll only find it in the palm of your hand.”
* “One treatment suggested for people with cancer is ‘life-purpose treatment.’ By finding a purpose in life –giving speeches, climbing a mountain, laughing – the immune system is revitalized and the cancer often goes into remission. It’s now common knowledge in the medical community that your mind has an enormous impact in your body.”
* “For a business to succeed, it needs to focus on what is selling well, what’s most effective, and what they do best.”
* “ Thank you.
Let’s do it.
I love you.
Beautiful.
Well done. “ Water exposed to these words from beautiful crystals. Make sure that you use these words for yourself and for people and kids you come in contacts with, for an internal health and happiness.
*“The words that make beautiful crystals from the water that flows through your body are the words that fill you with a gentle feeling of peace.”
*“The ability of the spoken word to give life is much more powerful than we can imagine.”
*“Unless we can become one with the unlimited existence, we will never find true happiness.”
* “Many of the problems that we have not even started to solve require careful resolves and bold action. And what will be necessary for us to arrive at solutions? The answer is circulation.”

*-*-*

Masaru Emoto’s story reminded me of a time when I almost drowned when I was seven. I was in the summer swimming school and it was the beginning of my second week. I had learned to swim very quickly and they had moved me up 2 levels to another group in just one week.

Well, I believe that one of my beliefs that advancing rapidly and quickly is not good (even lethal) must have been influenced by what I lived through. That day I almost drowned if it was not for a teacher who realized what was going on and saved me from the bottom of the pool of the school under some platforms set for the students in the pool. I remember after being hit by the feet of some students practicing who did not see me, I remember sinking into the water or let me rephrase – floating with no clear sense of direction, which in Newtonian terms means sinking.

I made it. And I kept on swimming. However, this incident which I remembered in 2004 for the first time after 26-27 years, have been coming to my mind quite often lately. And finally I feel like I know what it wants to say:

There in this swimming school, I was very good. I had learned to swim very well and very quickly. My teachers realized this rapid advancement and they wanted to support me and acknowledge that and took me to a group 2 levels up from my beginning level. So I had started in Group 4 and in one week I was told to join Group 2 with good swimmers.

This is good so far. However, there was one point my teachers missed. I was not experienced. I had learned fast and well and I was able to apply the new knowledge. Yet, when I was by coincidence, by an unthinkable situation of not being seen by students of a lower level practicing the use of their legs in water, when I was under the influence of the waves made by 40-50 kids and under the direct influence of some those legs, I could not protect myself. And of course one thing my teachers might have also missed, I was near sighted and I was not able to see and realize that these kids were about the start to practice as I was getting out of the pool.

Many of my friends know that I like being well prepared, really well prepared. I do not like accidents and I do not like being in circumstances I am not very qualified at. People many times tell me to do things because I am very good at it; And I usually can find many excuses that I need to more of this and more of that to be qualified. When I feel ready, I am successful; but it takes time for me to accept my competence. I believe, I strongly believe, that this drowning experience has some effect.

I do not remember the name of the teacher who saved me. I only remember that I later learned that he was a friend of my piano teacher at the time, a friend of Faris Akarsu. I also remember that teacher in his wet clothes; he must have jumped into the pool with his clothes on.

... Just a short event that took place in a summer some 31 years ago. Which I almost totally forgot and of which I was reminded slowly...

*

I would like to remind parents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters - be careful in the sea and the swimming pools. Make sure that your kids, relatives and friends know how to swim well and please keep a close eye on the kids.

At Cornell University, the university that I went to in Ithaca, New York, it was compulsory to know how to swim in order to graduate. I remember that quite a lot of friends from the USA and all around the world learned to swim after they started college. They had to – in order to graduate. If you do not know how to swim, how about starting to learn this summer? For yourself and for the ones you love.


With lots of light and love,
Zeynep



Affirmation of the Week:
“I am open channel for creative energy. I get rid of clutter and clear the energy around me.”
Gerd Ziegler

Quote of the Week:
“Every decision, even the ones considered wrong give us feelings of peace.”
Rita Mae Brown

Zeynep’s Movie Recommendation of the Week:
“What The Bleep Do We Know!? Down the Rabbit Hole.”
This movie is available in Turkish and also with Turkish subtitles and the Turkish title of the movie is “Biz Ne Biliyoruz ki!? Tavşan Deliği“.

Honest to Whom?

I am back in Fethiye. On the way from the Dalaman Airport to Fethiye, in the taxi I was talking to my mother. I was telling her about some of my experiences at the Findhorn Ecovillage which is about 45 minutes driving distance to Inverness in Northern Scotland.

I had been meeting teachers from Findhorn since last October, and finally had the chance to go up there for a couple of weeks. My main focus was to attend The Transformation Game Facilitator’s Training for 2 weeks and to spend some days exploring the Park and the Cluny Hill Campus in Findhorn.

I already miss the fennel tea one of our friends used to prepare for the group. It was quite an intense time of self discovery as well discovering the magic of The Transformation Game. It was an intense training of 14 days.

*

On the day that I arrived at the Cluny Hill Campus there was quite big group from Japan in Findhorn.

Interestingly the room that I was sharing with two ladies (Aneette was from Germany and Aija was from Latvia) was decorated with Japanese posters and paintings which were donated to Findhorn Foundation by another Japanese group a couple of years earlier. I found myself conversing with some of these Japanese visitors in my broken Japanese and in German. Yesterday I received an e-mail from one Japanese friend I met in Findhorn, and the e-mail was in German. J Isn’t it wonderful how international the world has become? I just love it.

Since I was 15 years old, I have been travelling around the world. I have seen quite a number of countries and I also had the chance to travel extensively in Turkey as well. I had the chance to see Steve Jobs, Tracy Chapman and Jon Bon Jovi, as well as Neale Donald Walsh, Steve Rother, Dr. Fred Alan Wolf, and many CEOs, governors, bureaucrats all around the world. I have also seen kids without shoes and proper clothing in the ghettos of Rio de Janerio and in the remote villages in Turkey. I have been with the very rich and famous and with the real poor and forgotten. I believe that this was the gift of life to me. I believe that this is Life’s gift for me.

Wherever I am and wherever I go, I know that we all share the same joys and the same fears, no matter where we live, regardless of the language we speak, regardless of the country we live in. I know it because I saw it, I lived it and I am grateful for it. I have so many friends around the world, and sometime I do forget that we speak different languages. I do forget that sometimes our countries are politically in disagreement or in too much agreement. Through all of these friends, Life is teaching me that we are all the same, we are all one.

You may find all this talk about people all being one big family, we all being one quite cheesy. How can we be, with all the wars and the terror around the world? My life put me in positions where I had friends from Bolivia to Ivory Coast, from Israel to Pakistan, from Ecuador to Latvia, from Japan to South Africa. And I would like to, I love to meet many more. This gives me hope because meeting seemingly different people makes me realize how similar we indeed are. This gives me hope that there is the possibility for us to act together, to make this world a better place for the human race and all living beings.

*

When I was in Findhorn, I also stayed at a Buddhist Retreat Center called Shambhala. My room had a wonderful view of the Findhorn Bay. I was amazed by the tide and how the bay is filled with water and is almost completely dry a couple of times a day.

I realized I did not know much about Buddhism. One night I took a couple of books from Shambhala’s library and read a little. In the Findhorn Community meditation is an important part of daily life. For example, one day I wanted to receive an energy treatment from a Japanese lady who was living in the community temporarily. When I asked her what her fee would be, she just said “tune in and you see what is appropriate”. On one level I know that a proper and just exchange is necessary in all healings; I was also happy to see that when we trust our inner knowledge and trust that everyone is willing to hear and follow that inner knowing, life changes in unimagined ways. I thank Kae-San for her support in my journey.

*

What do I want to say?
I want to say that I love Turkey. I love Istanbul and I really do love Fethiye. But this does not stop me from loving Kyoto or loving Florence (Firenze) or loving Ibiza or Ithaca, New York. I am able to love as much and as wide as I choose. There are no limitations and there is no need for any limitations.

I want to say that it is not being naive when I feel like loving everyone I meet and feel that they have a special place in my heart. I do not want to miss the opportunities of getting to know someone. I am becoming aware that sometimes all we got is just one shot, until and if we meet again. I do not want to live with should haves, could haves of missed opportunities of a missed life.

I want to choose my life to be true to who I am and trust that – that is what life has in store for me.

I am glad that I talked with the Turkish lady who had 20 months old twins and an American husband and who was going to Akyaka for her summer vacation. I am glad that I met those Japanese people in Findhorn one of which wants to start up a small scale Findhorn in Japan. I am glad that I talked with that lady from Switzerland whose mother was Spanish in the garden on a bench at Cluny Hill. And I am glad that I saw her and talked to her again on an EasyJet flight and learned that we will attend an Ecovillage Training in Findhorn next February. I am glad that life offers me the chance to meet people, and new people and I am taking the offer.

*

Then, why is it so difficult to love?
To love others?
And to love ourselves?

I chose one angel card for myself while writing this piece – the angel of Transformation came. I know that in the last 7-8 years I have been going through quite a lot of changes. Yet, something happened in the training in Findhorn. That was more like a completion of what has been taking place.

I also chose an angel card for Fethiye – the angel of Truth came. Truth is such a strong key that opens all doors.

Call me whatever you would like, but I want to contribute, I would like to share and increase the desire in others to do the same. That is all life is really about.

When I was in the training in Findhorn, honesty, simplicity, truth and sincerity have been qualities that I found myself anchoring to. Especially honesty. When I anchor to Honesty, the answers to my most difficult questions seem to open up.

May we all find our true anchors that will let us soar...

With lots of love,
Zeynep


Affirmation of the Week:
“As I nurture a child, I nurture my own inner child. Both activities are important for me right now.”
Doreen Virtue

Quote of the Week:
“The world is a mountain in which your works are echoed back to you.”
Mevlana Celaleddin RUMI

Zeynep’s Book Recommendation:
I request you to read and re-read “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The Turkish translation of this book may be found under the title “Dört Anlaşma”


With Aija and Aneette:

TV Program: Understanding Mevlana

On December 17th, 2007 Zeynep Kocasinan was the guest on the program titled "Understanding Mevlana-Mevlana'yı Anlamak" on Channel 21.Yuzyil (21st Century) Television in Fethiye. She shared information on Mevlana Celaleddin Rumi's life, his books and poems, as well as his selected poems. The 30 minute long program was first aired on the death anniversary of the great Sufi and poet Rumi, also to commemorate the 800th year of Mevlana's birth in 2007. The year 2007 had been declared as the "Year of Mevlana" by UNESCO to emphize Mevlana's messages of love and tolerance in the world.

Four Agreements for Sustainable Personal Development

On November 29th, 2007 Zeynep Kocasinan gave a seminar titled "Four Agreements for Sustainable Personal Development" at the Istanbul Technical University. The seminar was the first of a series titled "Taşkışla Meetings for Sustainibility - Sürdürülebilirlik için Taşkışla Toplantıları." The Seminars will continue until December 28th, 2007 at the Taşkışla Building of ITU at Meeting Hall 134. Topics such as permaculture design, life cycle of buildings, ecological foot print and ecological design will be discussed in the seminars.

Reiki Seminar in Istanbul

On November 26th, 2007, Usui Reiki Master Zeynep Kocasinan gave a Reiki Initiation Seminar with Usui Reiki Master Moshe Abudaram in Istanbul, Turkey. Initiations at the Reiki-I and Reiki-II Levels were given.

Seminars on Global Warming in Fethiye

The Fethiye Lions Club organised seminars in four high schools in Fethiye (Mugla) on the 15th and 16th of November, 2007. The seminars were for the 9th graders of eight high schools of Fethiye. Industrial Engineer Zeynep Kocasinan, Bioligist Deniz Dincel and Agricultural Engineer Kerziban Arikan discussed various aspects of "Global Warming" and "Ecological Footprint".

2nd EFT Training in Fethiye

On November 13th, 2007 Zeynep Kocasinan, together with Kerziban Arikan gave a second training on EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). The training was organised by the Personal Growth Club of the Akdeniz Dostlari Association of Fethiye.

EFT was taught to beginners and various application techniques were discussed. Books and related materials were also introduced to the participants.

All for a Piano?

It is 06:05 am and I am sitting in my apartment in Fethiye with a boarding card at hand. The Havas airport shuttle bus passed in front of my house about 45 minutes ago. I told the driver Ramazan that I will not be able to come.

It has been raining in Fethiye for a day now. After a very hot summer, finally rain is here.

Well, why I am not able to go to Istanbul? Because of the rain. Not because of a storm, for I am sure that the flight will not be cancelled. I am sitting in my living room in Fethiye writing because my roof and windows are leaking!

In Fethiye I live in a new building that has been built less than two years ago. Last winter was my first winter and I had many leakage problems. Since I do not live in Fethiye all of the time, I need to say that some of rugs were damaged since they “floated” in the house as we say it in Turkish due to rain waters. And it happened several times. I had informed the builder who has kept an apartment in the building to also partly live in Fethiye.

During the summers, I usually live in the Sovalye Island right across Fethiye. And this summer, although I did not see it, I was sure that the roof was repaired. As I woke up this morning to get ready for the plane at 5 am, I stared walking on a wet floor and started hearing the drippings from the ceiling. The water was dripping from the light bulb in the bathroom (and unfortunately it still is.)

So instead of taking a shower and getting ready to go, I found myself trying to clear the water from the upper floor of my apartment. Of course, I was thinking: “I am leaving for a week, how should I leave the house that the water does not accumulate, and also damage my furniture and paintings. The water drips from the wooden ceiling, which was beautiful when I bought this apartment, but now with huge bumps and discoloration due to the leaks. Then I decided to go to the lower floor to the living room to close up. It was then I realized that I was stepping on a wet floor again. This time water was leaking below my windows. The whole living room was wet. For a second I was very happy that I did not have wood flooring.

Before this apartment of mine in Fethiye, I had always had wood floorings and I still do in Istanbul. When I had bought this apartment in Fethiye, I had seen the tiles next door and decided to have wooden floors. Yet, before I could tell the builders, they had put the ceramic tiles and the topic was closed before I could interfere. This morning I was glad that it happened that way.

I like my furniture, but I have learned that what cannot be taken away from us, ourselves, is what gives us true value and makes us happy. I have one treasure, at least for me, in my apartment in Fethiye, my piano. It is a Schimmel Classic. I do have 2 pianos in Istanbul. A Russian piano, a Lirika, my father bought me when I was seven. That piano waits in my mother’s house. At home in Istanbul I have an electronic piano, a Roland, that I am able to play day or night without bothering the neighbours. So this Schimmel is my third piano.

Actually I was planning to buy another Roland for Fethiye. As I said, using the piano with headphones is very convenient and the sound quality is rather good. I remember the day, which was about approximately a year ago, that I went looking for a piano for Fethiye. I looked at various Rolands, and then suddenly I saw this shiny black piano sitting at a corner with a black baby grand Yamaha and another black Steinway grand. I was planning to spend a certain amount, but I could not resist going to that section. I played just a little, actually very little. The sales rep kept saying “you may play as you wish you are our previous customer”, since I had bought a Roland from them and a few guitars for Fethiye and Istanbul. I loved the piano, but it was expensive. Then the sales rep said “this is a lovely piano, and something your grandchildren can play.” That phrase hit me. It made me feel wonderful. I was choosing a piano for Fethiye and this made me feel as if I was going to grow roots in Fethiye with this piano. I left the shop to have a coffee and to think about it. After I ordered my coffee, I could not wait to finish it and when to the shop, told them I was buying the piano and gave a small amount as a down payment, and told that I would be back on Monday with the rest and asked them to arrange for the transport to Fethiye. This was on a Saturday.

At around Monday noon I was at the store again. The sales representative was there, and even before saying hello he said: “You will not believe it, a gentleman came on Sunday. He wanted the piano and said he would pay in cash and take the piano right away and that he can arrange for the transport. He was so insisting. But you had given us a down payment. We could not believe it. We sell many pianos, but these kinds are not asked for this frequently and so quickly. You and him- so similar.” I smiled to myself. I knew what made me not finish my coffee on Saturday. And my friends know I love coffee.

Well, back to the rain in Fethiye. So it is around 6 am. I am walking on a wet floor in my living room. My piano is in a corner that is surprisingly not touched by the water. So I had to decide. Would I leave it; should I be leaving my apartment with a dripping ceiling in the top floor and a floating floor at the bottom floor? I had planned to be gone for a week and had not checked the weather forecast. And apart from that I needed to clean and clear this water on my floors and furniture first. I decided not to go. I had talked with the Havas yesterday and had asked him to pick me up from my apartment which is on the Havas route. I did not want to keep him waiting; I got my umbrella; waited for him to come; and when he did, I told him that I would not be able to go due to my leaking ceiling. He said “be in health” and left for Dalaman.

I had a few meetings arranged for this afternoon. What will I do now? First, I will sleep a little at least until the office hours. Before starting to write, I more or less finished my cleaning.
This does not happen to me very much. I think this is the second time in three years that I am delaying going to Istanbul due to rain. And the first time with a boarding card at hand. I know and accept that there is a reason for everything and we will see what that may be.

May the abundance and fruitfulness of Rain be always with us.

With love to you all.
Z.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Affirmation of the Week:
“ I pay attention to thoughts and ideas that come to me as answered prayers.”
By Doreen Virtue
Quote of the Week:
“Impulses of intelligence create you body in new forms every second. What you are is the sum total of these impulses, and by changing their patterns, you will change.”
Dr. Deepak Chopra
Zeynep’s Book Recommendation:
“Positive Thinking” by Vera Peiffer. The Turkish translation of this book may be found under the name “Çekim Yasasının Temeli”.

EFT Training in Fethiye, Turkey

On October 30, 2007, Zeynep Kocasinan,

together with Kerziban Arıkan, gave an Emotional Freedom Technique

(EFT) Training for the Personal Growth Club of

the Akdeniz Dostlari Association in Fethiye.

In the training, detailed information on EFT has been given,

as well as information on the various application methods.

Personal Growth for Sustainable Living

On October 18, 2007, Zeynep Kocasinan gave a seminar at the Fethiye Ali Sıktı Mefharet Koçman Vocational Institue of the Mugla University, Fethiye Ali Sıtkı Mefharet Koçman Meslek Yüksekokulu. The title of the seminar was "Personal Growth for Sustainable Living". Teachers and students from the Institute attended the seminar. The studies done by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and Middle East Technical University (METU - ODTÜ) were discussed, as well as personal development and growth methods and techniques for the social aspects of sustainibility.
http://www.mu.edu.tr/departments/fethiye/images/sem/index.htm

Moshe Abudaram Invites You To Think Differently

When I was in high school, I was the head of the English newspaper club. Computers were new. Actually I believe we only had one in the whole school at the beginning. The name of our newspaper was “Bonus” and the logo of the paper was a cute dinosaur as I remember. We also had a Turkish school magazine which was called “Serçe”, the sparrow. I used to write for both. I also remember that I was a part of a few interviews in my senior year, with the deceased author Duygu Asena, with the famous actor, director and author Haldun Dormen, and with the famous author and journalist Zeynep Oral. That was in 1988. 19 years later I will attempt to start my interviews this time with a very dear teacher of mine Mr. Moshe Abudaram.

***

Zeynep: I am glad that this interview is in English. As you know I have problems calling with your first name using the informal you in Turkish. Why do you insist that people call you with your first name, even small kids?
Moshe: I also grew up in a formal environment. I was born in 1945 in Istanbul as you know. Yet, formality does not fit; especially in the field that I am in. We need to be open and honest to each other. That is how progress in made. If you call me Mr. Moshe, there is a barrier. In the US or in Switzerland or Israel being informal easier than in Turkey. There are so many barriers in life. I do not want to add any. Let’s be respectful, but also let us be open and talk from the heart – soul to soul. I am not necessarily greater or wiser than a kid just because I have lived longer in this life time. At the soul level we are all equal.

Zeynep: You have been teaching energy therapies and methods for years and giving consultancy as well. A very typical question – but how did it start? Are you exceptionally talented? Is this a God-given gift? What do you do? Where does this come from?
Moshe: I use and teach various complementary healing modalities and methods. Reiki, which more widely known around the world, is one of them. I also teach bio-energy and emotional energy clearing methods. Reiki is very easy to teach, but also is very effective. You are one of my students; you are able to tell how it works. You walked all the way. I use various methods in helping people to improve the quality of their lives. I use crystals, flower remedies, colour therapy, meditations in addition to the energy methods. When it is needed I do regressions to heal past traumas. Some people call what we do life-coaching.

Zeynep: Yet, you do a little more than life-coaching. You are able to look into the past and the present and I will dare say the future. You are known as the character Ari in the Turkish bestseller “Ben 44 Yaşındayım Oğlum 53”, which for our English readers translates as “I am 44 years old and my son is 53”. So are you a medium as told in the book? How we can describe what you do?
Moshe: You know how I feel about some of these concepts. I understand that you want me to clarify it. OK. First of all, why do you need to label? We label everything and everyone. Do we have the adequate information to do so? Most of the time - we don’t. Actually we rarely have enough information in advance. We need go about living in the now. There is a very good book called “The Power of Now”. If you can stay in the present, you can receive a lot of information. Everyone is able to receive information about themselves and their life issues. We have forgotten to listen, to see. Do you know what the temperature is today? How warm was it when you came to my office this morning? How was the sun, were there clouds?

Zeynep: Well, you know that I was driving to come here and in the traffic, I admit that we are driving with our minds elsewhere in Istanbul.
Moshe: You are smiling, so you know what I mean. You are a very aware person, you also teach this. I just wanted to point out that we are most of the time either planning for the future, for the moments to come, or we are worrying about what we have done wrong. Stop it. Move on. Now is where the information is and given. So that is what I do. I look into the now to collect the information given to us. That is what I teach.

Zeynep: So we are able to know the past, the present, and the future?
Moshe: Have you not had experiences were you knew exactly what you needed to do? Archimedes jumped out of the bath to shout “Eureka”. When you are able to tap into the now – that silence- that being in the moment- you connect. Find you method to connect. Some meditate, some take a shower, some listen to music, some play an instrument. Try and see. Most of the time, it is not the information coming to you. You tap into it. There are also times of course when the world of angels whispers in your ears.

Zeynep: So do we have angels? What and who are these beings?
Moshe: Everyone has guardian angels to protect them. Let’s rephrase. We human beings are energy. And there are many other forms of energies. What we call angels is also another form of energy. Some stay with us during our life time. Yes, all of the time.
Sometimes you may feel the need to help a person, to do something for a person who is not in a position to talk to you. Where did that urge come from? ... What happens is that when a person asks for help, their angels call out to all the angels to find out who can be of help. When that person is found, the angels whisper the message. You may be on different continents, yet if you are the person who can be of help, you will know. There is excellent communication in the universe. The point is do you listen?

Zeynep: About the future – you know that we have the habit of reading coffee cups, for the fun of it most of the time, but in life we would like to know about the future. Can we look into the future? Is it possible?
Moshe: Now everything is possible. Do you or should you want it to be possible? The future is a word we use, actually there is no yesterday, today and tomorrow. The movie is all there on the DVD. It is you who needs to watch it in a certain order.

Zeynep: What about creating our future? If it is all determined, what is the point in living a predetermined thing then?
Moshe: You do create your future. You chose to come here, to be born in Istanbul, Turkey, at the specific date in May, within our family. You decided a path and you came down. How well you will act your part – you decide and choose, a second time. When you create something now, the past and future, everything can change. And remember that it is not only your actual actions, but also your intentions that have an affect on your life.
For example, in a healing I see a situation where a patient had a trauma in the past or even a past life time. We have different choices. We may go back and re-write that script as you also do in your inverse wave healing. Or we may clear the emotions attached with that event. The event had passed, yet the energy of the negative emotions stayed with you causing your claustrophobia for example, or fear of the sea and most commonly seen your allergies.

Zeynep: I know that I was able to get rid of most of my allergies in the last 3,4 years. It is possible for everyone?
Moshe: A very big portion of allergies are due to emotional reasons. For instance, a lady patient has rashes every time she eats chicken. As I look at the time this allergy started, I pointed out a time when she was a kid. I looked deeper to see what happen. Here again either I can go into that time period to see what happened, or we can together with the person in a hypnotic like state to remember. In her case, they were at a dinner table, yes eating a meal of chicken. The phone rang and the news of the death of a beloved grandmother was given. She attached the feeling of deep loss and grief with chicken without even realizing. So when we clear this connection and the emotions attached to it - Surprise she is not allergic to chicken anymore.
Every illness has very very different reasons. It is all about the person. We can not say, this is good for this illness. From the energy perspective, we need to look into the person and the specific tools. Every person is different and needs to be looked into in that way. So we have the tools, Reiki or Bioenegy or IPEC. We may also use reflexology, or aromatherapy or colour therapy. When a person comes, I ask the soul of the person, the energy of the person what is wants and needs. Our souls, our energies know everything. The difficulty is making our mind and body cooperate. When we help the body, mind, heart and soul to act together, magic happens.

Zeynep: I am running out of space. I feel as if I have not even started. What will we do?
Moshe: Well, you are welcome anytime. To begin is a thing much greater that what we imagine…

Zeynep: Thank you very much. Hope to continue with this conversation soon.
Moshe: Thank you Zeynep. As I always say, always stay in the positive. Remember the reiki principles. Respect your elders, make an honest living, do not worry. And also remember that everyday we are given the energy we need for the load of that day. What we need tomorrow, we will have tomorrow. Stop looking into the future. It will come anyway. And would waking up to a known tomorrow as much fun? You know Paul Arden says “Whatever you think, think the opposite.” Think differently; think out of the box, break your old moulds, and then your life will light up.

***

I wish all of you a wonderful and exciting week. With lots of love.
Z.
______________________________________________________________
Affirmation of the Week:
“I feel tolerance and compassion and love for all people, myself included.”

By Louise L. Hay
Quote of the Week:
“When you do a thing, do it with the whole self. One thing at a time. Now I sit here and eat. For me nothing exists in the world except this food, this table. I eat with the whole attention. So you must do – in everything. ”
George I. Gurdjieff

Book of the Week:
“Public and Conversational Speaking”; By Dale Carnegie.
The Turkish translation of this book is sold under the name “Özgüven Kazanma Yolları II.”

About Zeynep Kocasinan

The author is a graduate of the Uskudar American Academy in Istanbul, and afterwards has received her undergraduate degree in Industrial Engineering and Operations Research from Cornell University. Zeynep Kocasinan works in the construction sector. Since 2004 she has her own art studio and works also as an artist. She writes for and prepares articles for various Turkish and English magazines and newspapers, and also gives lessons and seminars on creativity and personal growth. Zeynep Kocasinan speaks English and Spanish in addition to her native language Turkish, and introductory level French and German. She is also a Reiki Master. Zeynep Kocasinan lives in Fethiye and Istanbul, in Turkey.

For her blog in Turkish, please check out: http://www.zeynepkocasinan.blogspot.com/

Orhan Pamuk and His Father's Suitcase

Today is a Sunday and it will be a while before this piece will get published. But I could not wait. I read, for the first time, the speech Orhan Pamuk gave when he received the Nobel Prize for literature last October. I was travelling a lot those days, so I had not had the chance to hear his speech. Yesterday, I was in Remzi bookstore in Akmerkez, Istanbul and bought the book that contained both this speech of his and a few others.

Actually, the story begins yesterday morning when I was at a printing press to prepare the invitations and posters for my exhibition at the Fethiye Cultural Centre. There I had seen this book on the desk of one of the owners of the place. I knew that for the last 3 or so months, I had been meaning to find the text to read. So much was told about it, and me who is supposedly very interested in literature had not read it.

Most of my friends know that I love to read. I really do. And I cannot help buying books. I feel as if their presence in my environments makes life feel full and secure. And also, when I buy a book I usually do not wait all that long to start reading it. Ok, there are some books I bought years ago and have not read yet. However, when I bought them I was aware that I had no idea why bought them. These books wait until their time come. Yet, this was not the case for “My Father’s Suitcase.” In a way I wanted to wait for the morning.

I woke up. It was around 10:30. I had been meaning to open my eyes maybe for the last 2-3 hours. This morning I was not in a rush. I had no programs for the early hours of the day. A Kabbalah course in the afternoon, but that was after 4 p.m.

The book was by my bedside. It was not a planned move to bring it there, yet I had done it unconsciously. I got up, washed my hands, drank a glass of water and a bit more, and went to bed, this time to read the book.

Pamuk was talking about a suitcase of notebooks his father gave him 2 years prior his father’s death, and at the time Pamuk gave this speech in Stockholm, it had been 2 years since his father had passed away. It had been almost exactly 2 years since my own father had passed way when Orhan Pamuk received the prize. Maybe that was why it took me so long to be able to look at what he had to say about his relationship with his father, and what he had to say about his own life under these lights.

I realized that it is not easy to touch what we are afraid of. Yet, what good does fear do when it causes us to watch our life go by? There are many things I do even if I fear them a lot. However, I was also to see that there are so many other things that I do not do, because I am just afraid. Maybe that was the cry of help of these desires and wishes that do not want to be buried inside me anymore. We’ll see what new days will bring.
…

Anyway,
I believe that the English translation for this speech is also available for you to read. I really do recommend it. I have only been able to find a piece of the speech to share with you. The translation for this speech and many of Orhan Pamuk’s books are done by Maureen Freely.

“What literature needs most to tell and investigate today are humanity's basic fears: the fear of being left outside, and the fear of counting for nothing, and the feelings of worthlessness that come with such fears; the collective humiliations, vulnerabilities, slights, grievances, sensitivities, and imagined insults, and the nationalist boasts and inflations that are their next of kind ... Whenever I am confronted by such sentiments, and by the irrational, overstated language in which they are usually expressed, I know they touch on a darkness inside me. We have often witnessed peoples, societies and nations outside the Western world – and I can identify with them easily – succumbing to fears that sometimes lead them to commit stupidities, all because of their fears of humiliation and their sensitivities. I also know that in the West – a world with which I can identify with the same ease – nations and peoples taking an excessive pride in their wealth, and in their having brought us the Renaissance, the Enlightenment, and Modernism, have, from time to time, succumbed to a self-satisfaction that is almost as stupid.”

***

Orhan Pamuk’s first novel was out in 1983 and as I remember that was around the time that I read it. I was 13 and maybe the book was a little of my league, yet I remember being very moved by it. It was called Cevdet Bey and His Sons. The second book that I read by Pamuk was White Castle. After that on, Pamuk became a very well-known and popular novelist in Turkey and abroad. As I look back at those times when I was a kid, I remember that I loved my Turkish and English literature classes at my American High School. I loved writing. And I could read for hours. Sometimes I would buy a book on a Friday and almost spend the whole night up and finish the book before I would go to bed. I loved being a part of the adventure of the stories and I loved the feeling of being alive that those books gave to me. The books made me feel, as if they were opening my heart – they made me feel.

My father was an engineer. He was a true, smart, genius engineer. I believe I wanted to be like him. I became an engineer and although I never stopped reading, I stopped writing for a quite a long time, for almost ten years to be exact. When, why and how are not questions that I will discuss today and here. Then, it came back. Slowly at first, but a part of me that was lost came back to me.

I feel prisoned if I do not have a notebook and a pen and a book or two in my bag. I buy books not by ones or twos, but by tens. I feel safe when I have more books than I can read at a time. I feel safe when I have more empty notebooks and pens than I seem to be able to fill. Why? I do not look for the reasons anymore. I go with the flow. Maybe it is true that deep inside I know that the fear of not being able to say the thoughts and feelings that bottle up inside me is one the reasons. And maybe the fear of missing out on all the adventures that the world whispers through the writers of this world.

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If and when I do have a kid of my own, I wonder what kind a mom I will turn out to be? Will I have a suitcase to offer? Will I be a parent like Orhan Pamuk’s father or my own father or mother? Will I know what it means to let a child be who he or she truly is or allow him or her to be the person he or she came here to be for? Hard to say. So we will let the time show what it has in store.

With love to you all.
Zeynep Kocasinan